Snatch
I like to snatch things
It gives me great snatchisfaction
Do you think it’s wrong?
Do you think snatching is rude?
We are taught that it is impolite but
I believe it shows great enthusiams!
So great the snatcher must prove and show their love;
they want it so bad,
they must take it straight away, without any delay!
It’s immediate, raw, primal, excitable, highly enthused, rapturous!
On the receiving end
On the giver’s or holder’s end yes it may seem abrupt
It may seem rude
To have something ripped from your grip
But, givers or holders, take it as a delighted sign of wild enthusiasm
for whatever it is or was you were holding
and then, try it yourself!
Go and snatch it when something is next held out.
Feel how satisfying it is to snatch.
Wrong Sarong
Dad and Lina got me a sarong from their island trip.
I’m sorry to say but it really got my goat
because I ALWAYS get sarongs
from people when they go to an island.
I am fed up with sarongs!
What the hell am I supposed to do
with all the sarongs I have
I don’t go to the beach –
I get burnt.
I can use them for tablecloths
but I don’t need 10 of them!
My brother got a huge bottle of whiskey
And I got an old sarong.
Why didn’t I get a huge bottle of whiskey?
Not that I drink whiskey
I would just feel like I got a fair deal.
A sarong is just wrong!
Ok, I know I am being similar to a spoilt brat –
I didn’t expect anything really –
it’s just that when I saw my sarong
then looked over at my brother’s present, the huge bottle of whiskey,
I felt like I got a raw deal.
It was like I got the sarong because I’m a girl
He got the bottle of booze because he’s a boy
If that’s the case, then I would like to say-
yes, I like booze and I like to get boozy!
But that doesn’t mean I’m some kind of a floozy!
I don’t want no sarongs –
It’s wrong!
Just bring me back a bottle of booze!
Then no one will lose.
Reality list
No’s 1-4
no.1- stopping brooding
If people say
“come and watch TV with us!”
I say “no thanks…
I’m going to my room
to play with my toy race cars.”
(I don’t have any toy race cars
but saying this would make things
much easier).
no.2 – letterbox
Whenever I go to
my letter box
I check for a love letter.
That’s not so unreasonable
————– is it?
You just never know.
Although the sender is
currently unclear (to me).
no 3- plain
My hair is so plain
What a pain!
I will dye it blond
Or red,
even bed (der!)
Things that are plain:
white bread
flour
a mouse
cup of tea with cow’s milk
bare flat field
brick wall
jane
sponge
pale blue jeans.
no.4 – at the counter of McHeartache
-if I want the romance
does the heartache come
with it or on the side?
– Yes, with it.
– Can’t I have it without?
– No M’am, it’s already been
prepared.
– oh alright, I’ll take one
then.
Writer / Illustrator Bio:
Jade is a visual artist, zine-maker, and a spoken word + synth-playing songstress. She has performed her spoken word and songs (with The Fluffs duo) at Printed Matter and AC Institute in New York City; and at The Tote, Thornbury Local and Toot Artspace in Melbourne. She was director of TooT Artspace + Zine shop in St Kilda 2018-2020 and now runs TooT Zines online. She has self-published much of her written work and drawings in her zines.
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