Confessions of a Groupie by Paula Darvas

I have a confession to make. I am a groupie. A groupie of community house writing groups. I rediscovered writing after a tree change to chicken farming with my (now ex-husband) and two children. It reignited my lifelong love affair with language. Yet I was isolated and losing myself in a crumbling marriage. 

I often joke around and say that I majored in procrastination and minored in anxiety in my degrees! This process of attending a writing group circumvented living life on exam conditions. My judgements and paralysing inability to write something for fear that it’s just crap gradually evaporated.

It was at this juncture in 2013, I signed up for a weekly writing group at Leongatha Community House. A small group in a small country town was affordable! Each week we presented something, and each of us gave feedback. We also did writing exercises teaching us about story structure, plot, character, dialogue, and other technical aspects.

Each writer had a different voice. One very physically disabled elderly woman was a victim of horrific child sexual abuse. She was not highly educated but had a gritty way of writing about the trauma in her life that was very powerful. Another woman was very ‘stiff upper lip’ British and wrote gorgeously rich descriptions of nature in tightly crafted stories about living on a farm. A huge tattooed rough speaking and imposing man who fought in the Vietnam war was the most unexpected. He had actually written quite a good novel and I still keep a copy on my shelf today.

After my marriage irretrievably broke down, I returned to Melbourne heartbroken, unemployed, and penniless. Poetry and prose gave me an avenue to express my feelings. It started with endless pages of rants – personal and political. Then I began to attend a weekly open mic. It inspired me to write poetry and I loved it! I began to get to know the regulars and am now a co-MC there but loathing of my writing grew. I felt that I lacked the essential skills and techniques underpinning the craft of poetry.

In 2020, I joined Sandy Beach Writers, a larger suburban inner-ish city online writing group. It was then run by Claire Gaskin, (featured in a GW Review article discussing how she teaches and mentors writers). Claire castigates me for forever apologising for presenting ‘crap’. She told me it doesn’t matter if it is ‘just crap’. Once you have words on the page you can reread them, re-draft them, and from a rough diamond produce a gemstone of some sort!. I was also advised to ‘kill your darlings’, that is, delete those phrases that you absolutely love that don’t really add much to your writing.

My groupie experience boosted my confidence. I now accept that I can’t compare myself to everyone else and feel inadequate. The true essence of a good writer is delving into who you are and finding your own – unique – voice.

Through workshopping I am learning how to help other people refine their own voice. It is a fascinating process. In Claire’s classes, you present your work on screen and read it to the class. We read it on screen silently, then another person reads the work. We can provide a feedback ‘sandwich’ (or ‘hamburger’ if it’s your preferred type of food!). This involves extolling virtues of the written piece, raising any concerns or areas that could be improved, and then ending with more virtues of the work. This creates a respectful and safe atmosphere in class. These sessions are incredibly valuable. Being exposed to other people’s voices and working out how to improve their voice through feedback has enriched my own writing.

When I first became a groupie, I thought the main benefit would be forced consistency, that is – being forced to make time to write to present something to the group. The benefits are richer and unexpected. There is something very intimate about sharing your work with others, and we gradually get to know each other’s true faces. Our inner life, our values, our hopes, and dreams are creatively transformed into language on the page. These writing groups gave me a sense of community and a feeling of safety and belonging. I now read and understand poetry in a totally different way. I have begun to rediscover my own ‘voice’.  This in itself, is a magical gift.

These are my confessions of a groupie. I highly recommend you become one too!

REFERENCES

• Writing groups: Leongatha Community House and Sandy Beach
• Weekly open mike: Cherry Poets Saturdays,1.30 pm – 4.30 pm, Cherry Tree Hotel, 53 Balmain Street, Cremorne. Also, see the  Melbourne Poetry Calendar.

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Writer bio:

Paula Darvas dislikes titles but describes herself as a writer, after a lifelong detour through marriage, parenting, academia, divorce and lawyering. Paula is one of three co-facilitators for Cherry Poets.

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